is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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