if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
they're like a gay fantastic four
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
