i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
