Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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