Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
