Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
