We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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