Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
