Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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