Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
