i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
