Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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