Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
