hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
