My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize