So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize