Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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