I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
