R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
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I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
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I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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