I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
