oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
