We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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