What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
