I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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