Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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