do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
