It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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