That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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