I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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