im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
