My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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