Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
