If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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