The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
