he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
