3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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