Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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