Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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