; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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