gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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