Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
