Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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