Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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