Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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