so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
