WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
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