peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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