I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Randomize