marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You can't special order awesome
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
