ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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