All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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