ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
