I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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