Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Help. Why am I so naked?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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