2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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