this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
