The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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