im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize