I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Rumble strips road head = magical
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
