Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
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He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
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Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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