somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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