She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
