Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
