Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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