I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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