i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
