the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
